Following up on last week's newsletter on "Why Is Changing a Habit So Hard?", how can we move forward now that we know what we want to stop, why we're doing it, and why we struggle to stop? This is a key part of the process. There are two answers: one very short, the other one a little bit more elaborate.
The very short answer is to practice, practice, practice. Habits are formed through repetition and therefore whatever it is that we are trying to create as a new habit, as a new behaviour, it needs to be practiced and rehearsed, ad nauseam.
And the second answer is more complex. It rest on the idea that any type of change, behaviour in particular, is like embarking on a new journey. And for the journey to be successful, it requires a range of ingredients that must be in place and interact with each other smoothly.
First, we need to be motivated to get on the journey. Many of us have all the tools and the means to step onto this journey and make it a successful endeavour and yet lack the motivation to get started. There could be many reasons why that is the case.
Thus, figuring out our "why" is a key to sticking with any behaviour. We're in January, people make new year resolutions, some of you might be going through dry January and the idea of figuring out why am I doing this, what are the benefits that I'm hoping to achieve, is very important and the first step of setting off on a journey.
Secondly, when people start a journey, they often spend an ordinate amount of time to figure out their destination which of course is very useful but very little to no time to figure out where are they starting from. For those of you who are sailors, you know you cannot chart the course unless you have both points. You cannot chart the course by only knowing your destination and what you want it to look like when you get there (as it is recommended in manifestation exercises). It is equally important to understand what is your starting point. Where is my starting condition so that I can move to step three which is figuring out a plan.
An essential component of this journey to enacting any change is to build a plan because it implies that you are visualizing the steps of the journey and the things that you might encounter along the way which will then inform questions such as:
- Do I need new skills?
- Do I need new knowledge?
- Do I need a support mechanism or a power team around me to help me go through this journey?
Given that you may need these information and are likely to encounter obstacles along the way, it is crucial to anticipate those steps so that you can prepare and acquire the right tools to get on to your journey.
And the final point is really to spend time considering who do you need along this journey.
No man is an island, no woman is an island.
Even if we're doing a solo experience, let's say crossing the Arctic on foot, we still need a team behind to prepare us and to support us, to jump in, in case of an emergency.
It doesn't matter how small the habit that you're trying to create is, it is very likely that you will falter.
It is very normal and natural to expect that at some point, the old habit will kick in and we will take those one or two steps backwards. So the analogy of a journey, is a nice way of summarising the importance of all aspects of behavioural change so that we can be prepared for what comes.
Consider the 360° implications of what you're aiming for. Preparedness is everything.
To summarise, your journey of change requires several essential elements:
Motivation: Understand your "why" to sustain any new behaviour.
Starting Point: Know your current state, not just your destination.
Plan: Anticipate your steps, prepare for potential obstacles, and identify the skills or resources you may need.
Support: No one succeeds alone. Having a supportive team or network is crucial for navigating setbacks.
Read the next instalment to find out what to do when you veer off course.
To truly break free from long-standing unhealthy habits or thought patterns, join our retreats and programmes. Dive deep into the subconscious beliefs driving your behaviour, understand their origins, and overcome their grip on you. Transform your mindset and experience a new emotional balance in your daily life.
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